Why Didn't You Tell Me Sooner?
by thevoltageprincess
Summary: Ludwig comes out, and tells the truth. He's the person who Feliciano waited so long for, even while having had been told that he was dead. The thing is, Ludwig hid his identity for more than thousands of years, and Feliciano isn't exactly pleased. More than anything, he's hurt, and definitely confused.


*Thank you to those who informed me of the formatting issues!

The moment that the words were spoken, Feliciano was left absolutely speechless, hazel colored eyes growing somewhat wide and him freezing in his place as he gazed up at the nation before him in disbelief, a beautiful smile no longer on his face. This had to be a lie, right? Maybe just some sick joke? Didn't his close friend (whom he had feelings for) realize that the person involved had been his one true love when he was much younger? Didn't he realize that saying such words so lightly just wasn't right? So, harshly swallowing the lump in his throat, and eyes that usually held so much life beginning to slightly water somewhat as Feliciano took a step back from the nation other him without processing his actions, he opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out for a moment, not until he forced himself to actually speak up. "W-What?"

There was nothing else he could manage to get himself to say. He wasn't sure whether to believe the blonde before him or not, but once looking up into those beautiful eyes that he could simply always get lost in, looking so sincere at him as the words were spoken yet once again, Feliciano knew that this was no lie nor a joke.

"I'm Holy Rome."

The words took a moment to sink in, and once they did, was when a small tear escaped him and slowly slipped down his cheek as he continued to gaze at Ludwig, vision somewhat blurry due to the accumulated tears in his eyes. Feliciano found himself unable to speak once again for a few moments, silence filling the living room of country he was with right now. So, this was why he had been invited over? This was what Ludwig wanted to tell him? So many things were going through Feliciano's mind at the moment that just a few passing seconds seemed like hours not only for him but for Ludwig as well, who was trying to keep calm and see how his beloved friend would react. The Italian just didn't know what to say, what to feel, what to think. After so long of waiting for him, for the boy he had fallen in love with when he was just beginning to grow, he had been right in front of him the whole time. And Feliciano had always noticed the way that they were so similar, and he always wondered if perhaps he only held feelings for his friend because of that, and right now he was questioning that more than ever, now knowing that this man before him was the same boy who had left him so long ago. And now thinking about all of this even more, what Feliciano realized was that he felt so much….so, so much anger, gratitude, and happiness all at one. Anger, for not having had been told sooner, for having had been left to think that his first love had been dead. Gratitude, because he finally got him back. After waiting for thousands of years…he finally had him again. And happiness, because of the same reason. But, it was all too much for him to deal with at once that Feliciano could only help but want to cry, which he did, some more tears coming down his cheeks as he proceeded to step away from Ludwig even more, this action only causing the other to think that this would not be going as smoothly as he thought it would.

"S-since when….Since when have you known?"

At the question was when Ludwig seemed somewhat hesitant to answer. It was as if he was trying to decide whether he should lie or perhaps just be upfront and tell the truth. And even while it seemed much easier to take the easy way out, Feliciano was his friend, and not juts his friend, but the person he trusted most, despite everything. He was one of the most important people in his life, whether the nation wanted to admit it to himself or not.

"Now Italy–,"

"Since when have you known?"

The question was repeated, this time in a much more firm tone that surprised not only Ludwig, but Feliciano as well. But, he had the feeling that this news was not only recently discovered. He could feel it, more than anything he knew that this wasn't something Ludwig only recently knew about himself. This was something that Feliciano felt that he should have been told long ago. So even with a small amount of tears going down his cheeks, he asked yet again, hoping that he wouldn't get the answer he was expecting. Ludwig wanted, more than anything, to just forget the conversation and just comfort Feliciano, though it was hard to imagine himself doing so. Either way, it was simply difficult to see the other cry like he was, as if he had hurt him, as if he had broken his heart. Just seeing him like this, it felt like he had. So with a sigh escaping his lips, the younger nation looked almost guilty before continuing with answering the question asked of him.

"Since before I even met you…again…"

Silence was what came between them for a mere moment, those words feeling like a shot to the heart. Ludwig had known all about this even before they met once again, but it was still kept a secret from him for so long? How could he?

Before even realizing it, he turned and bolted out of the house, going God knew where. All that the representation of Italy knew was that he needed to get out of that house because he was on the verge of breaking down. Did he feel this…this pounding in his chest because of Ludwig? Or only because he knew now that it was Holy Rome? Why hadn't he been told sooner? After all that pain he had to suffer. Everything was just so much for him that he ran out, going to the fields nearby without even realizing it, unaware of whether or not Ludwig decided to follow after him or not. But there was where Feliciano curled up under one of the trees in the field, not caring that it was pouring outside and he was only getting himself drenched and dirty with soggy mud as he sat there, tears streaming down his face as he sobbed quietly, his face hidden as he his his face into his knees while having his arms crossed over the top of his knees which were pulled up to his chest. What should he do now?

He couldn't decide whether to simply let himself stay there and pour his heart out like the rain that was coming so harshly from the sky, or move and run back home before Ludwig had the opportunity to find him, but he had no time to think about it, because much sooner than he liked, he heard a familiar voice. Ludwig had followed him here, which was something unexpected. In all honesty, the German hadn't expected the other to react this way, but a part of him felt like he should have. Ludwig already knew that it was wrong to keep it such a secret for so long. "Italy…"

Upon hearing that voice, it most definitely surprised Feliciano. He didn't think that Ludwig would actually go after him, especially not in the pouring rain where he would get soaked as well, which the blonde was at the moment just like he was. And if he did, that he'd be here so soon, because Feliciano actually ran a lot faster than he realized, or than he normally did. Either way, it didn't matter. He didn't bother to look up, or at least not immediately. But then, once hearing another soft calling of his name, he slowly looked up and their eyes met, Feliciano's eyes looking so hurt as he spoke up, throat hurting as he attempted not to end up sobbing. "How could you, Germany?"

His voice sounded so frail, as if just talking hurt him even more.

"How could you keep this from me for so long?"

Feliciano never sounded like this, so hurt, so full of what seemed like perhaps anger. But, he wasn't always as happy and go-lucky as he seemed. Feliciano had feelings too, these things hurt, more than anyone could imagine. Just because he often seemed so happy, didn't mean that he was so easily going to be okay with learning that his best friend was the person he had loved so dearly as a child. He proved that as he continued to speak, standing up and no longer sitting, curled up under the tree which gave him almost no protection against the storm. "Do you know how long I waited for you?"

The dozens of tears that trailed down his soft cheeks weren't distinguishable with the droplets of water that came down gently from his hair.

"Do you know how much pain I went through?!"

No matter how much Ludwig attempted to speak, Feliciano wouldn't stop. And he didn't plan to, not until he got everything out.

"I thought you were dead! You let me believe all these years that you were gone! That I would never see you again! Do you know how much that hurt me?! So how could you do this! How could you let me believe for so long that you were dead! Do you know how much it hurts to think that the person you love is forever gone?!"

Once again, silence came between them after the raising of his voice, with Feliciano unsure of what to do now and Ludwig unsure of what to say. He had nothing to say to defend himself, nothing that could possibly make the situation any better. He had wanted to tell his beloved Feliciano so long ago….but he found that every time, he was internally afraid that perhaps Feliciano would hate him for not having had told him that day that they met once again. He eventually held it off for so long that Ludwig now knew that he should have said something sooner. But now it was too late, because it was then that Feliciano ran off and away from him again.

And this time, Ludwig didn't go after him.


End file.
